Happy World Introvert Day!
Did you know that today, January 2, is World Introvert Day? Isn’t it great that we introverts have our very own day? January 2 was chosen as World Introvert Day because it’s just after the busy holiday season, when things finally start to quiet down, just what we introverts love!
To celebrate this special day, here’s a list of classic introvert personality traits. If you’re an introvert yourself, you’ll think, “YES! That’s me exactly!” If there’s an introvert in your life, you’re probably already familiar, or you may experience an “Ah ha!” moment and gain a greater understanding of these exquisite creatures.
1.) First and most importantly, don’t try to “fix” an introvert. There’s nothing wrong with us. If you accept, or better yet, celebrate us for who we are, we’ll be endlessly loyal to you. And we crave that same loyalty in return.
2.) If the introvert in your life needs a lot of alone time, try not to take it personally. It doesn’t mean we don’t love you, or that we don’t want to be with you (well… generally it doesn’t). An introvert’s need for alone time should be respected because it is exactly that: a NEED — as in, essential to our mental health and happiness. By the way, introverts tend to be selective when it comes to people they’re close to. If you’re close to one, you must be pretty amazing!
3.) Introverts hate confrontation without preparation. We need time to process things instead of being pressed to come up with an immediate response in the moment. I often think of the perfect answer three days later.
4.) If you want an introvert to open up more, LISTEN when we talk. All my life, I’ve heard the infuriating “You’re so quiet!” Infuriating because I’ve never heard anyone say to an extrovert: “You sure talk a lot!” Why is one okay, but the other is considered rude? Yet, when I have attempted to contribute to the conversation, especially in a group, I’ve been interrupted, talked over, or simply ignored. Happens all the time and it’s maddening! (Side note: Since becoming a mental health therapist, now when someone says, “You’re so quiet!” I say, “I’m diagnosing you. Keep talking, I’m almost finished.”)
On the other hand, if I’m fortunate enough to find myself in a group that actually gives me the space to be myself and listens to me when I speak, it’s a rare gift and makes me feel like I matter. It’s heavenly!
5.) Because of the above point, introverts tend to be great listeners and observers. We may not be talking, but we’re still paying attention and taking everything in. Picking up on non-verbal signals, body language, tone, and expression is much easier when you aren’t chattering away.
By watching and listening, I’m likely learning more about the people around me than the ones who can’t stop talking. Critical caveat: This does not apply when a friend needs to vent. Listening is one of my best skills, honed over many years, so talk to me, my friend.
6.) Because of the above point, many writers are introverts who carry entire worlds around in their heads. Writing is my favorite way to connect with people. It’s been said that introverts who are writers “want to tell you a story without having to look you in the eye.”
7.) And here’s a big one: Once you’ve determined who the introverts are in your life, for the love of God, please put us on your “do not call” list! Almost universally, introverts despise talking on the phone. At best, a phone call is intrusive and unsettling, especially if we have not had adequate time to emotionally prepare for the event.
I have often told friends and family: “I will text you screen after screen, or send you a 10-page email. I’ll even listen to voice mails. But if you call me, I can and have watched my phone ring, without answering, all day long.”
The only phone call I’ll answer is when the caller i.d. says “Marcus” or “Mom.”
